


Forgotten Letters

by Winchester0701



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester0701/pseuds/Winchester0701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of letters to Oliver after his death</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forgotten Letters #1

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this so please comment, kudos I love hearing from people about my work :)

December 30, 2015

    _No,no,no._ It's one of the only memories I have from that night, repeatedly saying no, screaming no this couldn’t be happening. You laid cold in my arms. I screamed the words I feared so long. Dig watched me with tears in his eyes, but I couldn’t stop screaming those words, that would fall on deaf ears. With every moment you slipped away from me. I grabbed the paddles again only to have them wrestled from my hands. I sobbed into digs chest as he stroked my hair, my red hands staining his blue button down.


	2. Forgotten Letters #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried putting in Felicity's signature but it just didn't work, sorry.

December 31, 2015  
     I couldn’t help but watch you. Everyday there was something new and you never ceased to amaze me.To handle so much pain...you were stronger than me. I couldn’t help but be jealous as I watched you with Sarah. I know I had no right but hey a girl couldn’t help herself. The words I will never be able to say lay heavy in my throat. Yes indeed you were stronger than me. If you had felt the same way you would have shouted it from the rooftops and admitted it to me...but you didn’t. I watched as you paraded women in your life and I accepted it, because I loved you. I mean what else could I have done.  
     I miss you already. I walked into the cave and I couldn’t breath because all I could see was you. I saw you training with Diggle, firing arrows at tennis balls. Thea pretends not to notice as I slip into the the lower levels of the club. Of course all your things are gone, me and Diggle made sure no one else would find out. It's just inventory now but I still see it as the cave.  
     But there’s still one place that's yours. The other cave is exactly the same as you left it. Of course there are tiny holes in the wall now from my fists. I got a little drunk and took my anger out on the drywall. Diggle offered to help me train after he found, said it would help the healing process but I told him I was fine. Of course I still go there and train on my own. You were right it is better to be alone, you can’t hurt anybody and nobody can hurt you.


	3. Forgotten Letters #3

January 1st, 2016

     We laid you to rest today. I cried with your Thea and Walter we cried for each other. I cried because Walter had lost the son he’d never gotten to know and Thea lost her brother. They cried for me because I lost a _friend._ If they only knew how I really felt. If only they could see the hole that was eating away at my heart. The blackness that darkened my soul. Laurel didn’t show up, neither did Sarah. If I wasn’t such a mess I would have been angry. I am angry though but not at them for not showing up or at Thea for acting like she’s the only one who's supposed to hurt. I’m mad at you because the last time I was at your house you played me. You said you loved me and even though I knew it was a game I fell for it. _God dammit why did you have to die?_

     People started talking shit about you at the reception. I knocked out a girl’s front tooth and I think that's when it clicked with Walter that I wasn’t taking this like a _friend_. After that I went home. I kind of stood in my apartment, I didn’t recognize it. I was never home when you were around, I was always working. But at least I managed to keep the fridge clean of rotten food. That’s something, right?

     By then end of the night I had taken out a gallon of chocolate ice cream and sat in front of a black T.v screen for three hours. _What was I supposed to do now?_ Queen consolidated no longer existed. I wasn’t gonna be a cocktail waitress like my mom. Maybe I should move to Central City team Flash still needed an IT expert. But it wouldn’t be the same...not without you.


	4. Forgotten Letters #4

February 14th, 2016

     I don’t know why I keep writing these letters. I started leaving them at your grave and now Thea looks at me differently. I see her watching me when I come to the verdant for my afternoon moscato twice a week. By my third week Thea made me promise I wouldn’t become an alcoholic. I promised if she only knew my reasons behind it.

     The clubs still doing well. Actually the clubs never been better. Someone actually started a rumor that you haunt the place, Thea knocked the guys teeth out. I’ve never seen Roy laugh so much. Of course once he realized Thea was crying, the guy had got in a back hand slap, he started wailing on the guy, hell even I got in a shot. I don’t play around when it comes to Thea. We’ve gotten close since you… went away.

     Roy and Thea are getting married. They hoped you would approve. I smiled at that because I remember our late now gossip fests. And how you would gush over Roy and Thea after I got past the disapproving brother act. Thea would laugh if she knew what a busybody you actually were. Maybe I’ll mention that when I give my speech as her maid of honor? Or maybe not…


	5. Forgotten Letters #5

May 16th, 2016

     Happy birthday Oliver. Your presents sitting in my closet. I picked it out months ago, before you took an extended break. Diggle had helped me with it, it was a new bow and arrow set that I designed after yours got broken. I don’t know what to do with it. I just sent flowers to your grave. I know it was cliche but what else could I do?

      Thea came over for a little while. She didn’t say anything about the letters. Or the fact that she knew I was in love with you. We just napped on the couch and cried. When I stopped by your family’s plot later there was a small wrapped present from Thea and Roy. They miss you a lot. But I can see they’re trying to move on. I want to, but I don’t know how.

     I miss you and I don’t know how to handle it. Everyone around me is moving on and it scares me because if I move on then I have to accept your gone and I don’t think I’m ready to move on. Is that wrong of me. I honestly feel like I’m going crazy and it’s all your fault dammit.


	6. Forgotten Letters #6

July 4th, 2016

    I can’t keep writing these letters, you’re...dead. It’s the first time since your death that I’ve been able to admit that to myself. It feels even funnier writing it down than it does on my tongue. I went back to your second layer and that’s when I realized I can’t just pretend like you’re back on the island

      John joined the police force him and his girlfriend Lyla have a daughter on the way, so I don’t see him much anymore. Thea and Roy have been busy running the club which has taken over the Starling City club scene. I never knew Thea had it in her. They went on their honeymoon it was strange not having them here but they seemed happier when they came back. 

    It’s getting harder in Starling City. Everywhere I turn there’s something that reminds me of you. I’m thinking about leaving maybe going to Europe. Thea offered me the private jet anytime I wanted. They’re so happy together, Roy and Thea, it makes me sick sometimes. They kind of remind me of us or the us that could have been. But how can I ever leave you?


	7. Forgotten Letters #7

December 31, 2016

It’s been awhile since my last letter. I started seeing a therapist back in september, she thought it might be better to stop writing them. God it’s only been a year but it feels like forever. I’ve finally taken Thea up on her offer, but I have to be back by May. Thea’s having a little boy and his Godmother can’t be late.

    It’s funny how close me and Thea have gotten over this last year. We finally talked about the letters and we both cried. She finally cried for me because I had lost the man I loved a man who never knew I loved him. Of course Thea said that she had a feeling he knew.

     She’s naming her son after you. Roy and Diggle were crying when she told us. I wanted kids one day but now I’m not so sure. Honestly I wanted kids with you, you could have taught them self defense and how to be badass little ninjas and I could have taught them how to hack. 

    I miss you Oliver but i think it’s time. I need to get away from everything and especially you, goodbye Oliver. 


End file.
